Filing the Void: part 1

You are going through the process of longing, grieving, hurt and maybe some pain at the loss of someone walking away or a relationship ending. You really want this heartbreak to go away, it has taken a good toll on you mentally, physically and maybe even spiritually. You want to replace it temporarily with a nice warm body at least until you feel better… right?

The meaning of a “Void is “empty space” so when you want to fill the void, you want to fill that emptiness. You want to fill that dark hole in your heart with someone that gives you the attention you need or the help and the support you require to get through and past this process. Problems arise, as you find yourself over this bump in your life, looking through different eyes and realizing that the week, months and even years spent with this someone is going to cause you more grief and possibly hurt not just you but your unsuspecting shoulder you cried on,

Why not replace it?

Its Simple, because it hurt’s it freakin hurts!!… who would choose, Who would hurt if they had a choice? No one of course.

Just like the body as it has its signals and responses designed to protect the you from a foreign substance the emotional response is the same, you don’t want to feel bad so the first thing we do is find ways to stop the pain as soon as possible.

We replace the hurt and the loneliness with a person, and the time is replaced with attention.

When you seek to replace and not heal your hurt and pain, you are leaving your wounds gaping. You are not just hurting yourself, you have created a shield and covered your emotions. Unfortunately, you are also using someone as a shield to deflect the process you need to go through in order to heal.

The truth is, anytime you try to distract, shield, or bind yourself from feeling these emotions you are avoiding, you are not facing. Until you allow yourself to feel and allow yourself to go through this process you will never be complete, and will always desire a level of closure, you will have “what if’s” and “could have’s”

If you face these emotions head on, sure you may not gain the closure you desire but you can gain an inner peace and the ability to move on. The process is necessary and seeking to heal is your best option, instead of seeking a person to lay beside until the pain goes away.

Healing is different for everyone. There is so much noise in the world telling what to do and when to do it. Who should be healed and who should not, those who are considered strong are told that they should not hurt and those that are hurt are considered weak.

Self Help books, videos, and utilizing people requires consistency. You have to work at anything you want. Just going, reading, sitting and listening doesn’t do the trick. if a self help book, seminar, pastor and/or event is part of your process then so be it. But it may not be a quick fix and you must be careful if part of your help involves any outsiders that may disrupt your life. People are desperate to heal to gain insight into themselves and gain a sense of upliftment from the situation. Don’t let desperation put you back into the same place you are trying to be delivered from.

We must fall back from he noise of the world and listen to your heart, listen to GOD. You already know what you need, you have hidden it inside your drink, your companion, your hobbies.

This is your life, don’t fill it with garbage fill it with love. Watch how you grow and learn and help others on their journey. Be honest with yourself… and If you’re ready to heal and grow, remove whatever you’re using to replace and distract from it. Sit with it and really allow yourself to feel and explore the void, you may be surprised by what your find.