Mentally crippling, a depressing and negative way of being. Having a victim mindset stalls your progress in all aspects. Blaming, complaining, worry and unworthiness.
This could be a natural way of being for some because they never learned that this was not the way to move up, this is the way to stay stuck. Victimization of self, can be self defeating but is used to motivate and encourage but does the exact opposite. the glass is half empty as a reflection for what is really going on deep down inside, within themselves.
When hope is offered, when the light at the end of the preverbal tunnel is seen, the explanations, complaining and miserableness of feeling unworthy can override the solution.
Signs of a victim mindset:
Revenge:
The feeling of sadness and pain turned into revenge and retribution. Emotionally attached and strengthening yourself by turning that person into a conquest that has to be realized. That he/she must be bested because your feelings desire vengeance. Stopping and continually being stuck because you think they must be punished
Guilt:
The inability to move forward, everything you do is consumed by the could-have-been or what you did or did not do. You are rising and feeling guilty feeling undeserving because you are unable to make amends. As though you did something that negates everything you are doing
Unworthiness:
Each time you rise, each time you have a win it is not greeted with gratefulness and blessings, it is greeted with the feeling of being undeserving. “Why did I get this… because I “ Or I “Shouldn’t get this.. because I” feeling as though the goodness, should never be yours because of the bad things you have done.
Blame:
Reverse Motivation, self-defeating emotions, believing that the only reason this happened was because of someone else. Now you feel you can never be or do whatever it is because it was taken or your path is not murky because you have gone another direction. “I would have stayed an become something, but I followed him/her and now the relationship is over”!!! I will never rise again. “
Only you can take the walk in or out of this mental prison. Living within this victim mentality can and will ruin your life, because it can impact everything you do. You may not even realize that you don’t allow yourself good things or that you feel you dont deserve the good things in life, find things wrong with your life, and see the world in gray.
Baby steps:
You recognize that one or of these are you. First:
You deserve it!!:
So it didn’t work, so your relationship failed, it happens to all of us. Move on, see the worthiness in you. You will have to take that hard look in the mirror, hold yourself accountable and then learn. Use it as a learning experience, Turn your situaitons into training modules in your mind and teach yourself a better way.
Step Back and don’t be afraid of what you see:
Look at the bigger picture, you may have to swallow the bitter pill and hold yourself accountable. Okay and Do that!!!, Don’t be afraid to peel back layers of emotions, you may not have the ability to figure out your feelings, but you can always remember how it felt the good and the badand eventually you will feel good and feel love again the right way, just with someone who feels the same way.
Don’t rush it:
Everyday it will get easier I promise, you will one day wonder why you looked, saw, visited, loved, lusted after this person. You will see him/her with another and walk proudly, realize that this was but a fleeting moment in your life, that you may have done something incorrect, but GOD makes no mistakes. You were meant to feel like you do, and did. Take your time, process is better with time, because you can take a moment of reflection and reintroduce you to yourself.
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